Is it just you?

Traveling solo lets you dwell on a few reasons it BRILLIANT and FRUSTRATING to Travel Solo. Every time I went out to eat I was asked "Is it just you?". "it is especially me" was always my answer.When you travel every individual gets something different out of the experience. For me travelling alone allowed me to embrace all aspects of my personality from art galleries and history to walking for miles and taking photos of all things great and small. These highlights shaped my experience and might help with planning or understanding that travelling solo is a whirlwind.

1. THE HARDEST PART IS THE FIRST STEP - when people ask me about travelling alone the hardest part I found was my first flight out of New Zealand 7 years ago. Sitting in the departure lounge, on my own, with all the people I love and home being behind a glass wall. I even called my sister and asked "is this what it really is all about?, hours of waiting around". But then someone sat next to me and asked me "So, where are you going" and with the dreams of travel ahead of me it all melted away...shedding  tears to Hotel Rawanda on the inflight movie helped me realise how fortunate I was to  come from NZ - I have a vivid memory of that flight clearly.
2. EXTRA COST - You don't get to split the accommodation costs with someone which is definitely the most expensive thing of your travels - but it does mean you can indulge in the serenity of the evenings. And starfish obviously. This goes for tuktuks, and taxis but from most bus stands, airports or tourist spots you can pair up with! Build it into your budget from the start and you wont notice. I promise.
3. BARGAINING - You don't have someone to help with the bargaining - The Walk Away Guy. So you become good at walking away from stuff and looking sad/confused/tired to anyone walking towards you
4. COPS & ROBBERS- Almost the same as the Walk Away Guy is the Good Cop Bad Cop Role play. Great for warding off the street touts who approach you to read your aura or sell you garlands. Always helpful when you are having a down moment to pick you up or drag you down to neutral when you are strangely positive after a long bus journey. When you're travelling with a buddy you sometimes assume roles - so its best to find someone you can interchange with fluidly. I've learnt from experience its a drag being Bad Cop all the time.
5. LEAN ON ME - well this falls to the staff. In the absence of a buddy if you fall sick you have to rely on the hotel staff to rub your back, feed you and ensure you have water. Be prepared with some spare cash to thank them (in all instances this has always been refused but appreciation is always nice right). 
6. WATERING HOLE - without someone else to have your back you need to have your own supplies of snacks and water to see you through. You'll be grateful you did!

   

   trying schnitzel in Austria and
    not having the share it!

7. SATISFYINGLY SELFISH SALLY - you don't have to share the delicious food. You also don't get to split the average food. Safe options are boring but hunger/budget wins that argument many a time. Judge me if you will on how intrepid this is....do it for a year and then get back to me. In my experience sometimes the plain familiar food IS the best option (I can name the best Italian restaurants in Mumbai for example). but I have had plenty of treats shared with me by locals whilst on my own. Or suggested menu options from the waiters and diners alike
8. TIMING IS EVERYTHING - South East Asia is not a great place to travel on your own in my opinion - (Amy Coleman you were so right!) especially if you don't want to drink beer everyday and your over 29. I missed my chance for SEA to be AWESOME [with some random hand gesture rocked out, a collection of singlets to show my itinerary and wrist bands from every temple visited and every begging child passed].   Consider what it will be like to be a tourist where your going not just the things you really want to see....Europe and bus tours for me ah?!
9. SPACE CADET - There is always space for you. When in India there is always tourist quota for one to sneak on and local class is very welcoming to rouge solos. Elsewhere, you often get two seats to yourself on public transport - or you end up next to a snoring smelly man...you take what you get and remember it will balance out.
10. ROOM AT THE INN - Single rooms are easier to come by and playing the female card here helps. Backpacking in countries where hostels are common Single Females have more options as most hostels have mixed dorms or womans dorms...meaning you have more opportunity to claim a bed.

    

    You can be lonely anywhere...

    I think "Soulless" when I remember Phi Phi. 

11. ONLY THE LONELY - It gets lonely. It has taken me 10 months to admit this. But without friends and family around life on the road with all its changes and challenges gets really lonely. You will have bad periods. Mine lasted for about two months and reoccurs regularly. Reconnect with your loved ones - they are unaware of you being lonely in the world so keep nagging to get hold of them....time zones can be a pain in the arse. Change your habit/s that has put you in the lonely place. Be it your sleep patterns or the accommodation you are staying in. If it means spending more money and shortening your trip then do it...being stubborn is a very difficult trait to overcome!
12. ITS UP TO ME - there is no one else to make the decision, no one to consult. Be it a dodgy hotel, a one eyed Safari Walking Guide armed only with a stick, a change of course, a sleep in, a late night or a day in reading a book. Go with your gut, but putting safety first is also advisable.
13. SAY HELLO! - when you're on your own you can be open or closed to the world - put down your solo traveller aids; books, camera, take out the damn ipod headphones, turn off that blasted iPhone or laptop and look at the view, take in the environment, listen to the horns and the music and the frying oil in the kitchen, listen to the fellow travellers talking and the street bustle and smile. When you're open the world will be open to you. 

    

    I went with a fellow traveller and ended up on my own!

    I was the entertainment for hundreds at the

    Abandoned IPL match in Kolkata.

14. BRIEF ENCOUNTERS - judge your new travel companions fast. I made a few faux pas' along the road that shaped my journey where personalities clashed or what you want out of the experience differed. This is natural. On the other hand I have  spent time with some of the most delightful enriching humans that were on their own Big Adventure, on a weekend away from the office or just wanting to see their son-in-law score a try in the Rugby World Cup. I exchanged details with very few of these people - friends for a season and a reason, applying here. 
15. MEMORIES - you don't have one person to share your memories with and honestly when you get home no one cares about the highs and lows of you taking a year off to see the world. Forgive them. But know with all of these experiences you are richer for them....and enjoy your photos and diaries as reminders. Friends forgive me for all the times I start a sentence with "this one time in...". I never went to band camp but I sure got a kick out of travelling.
16. NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH - What an arse to have to worry about your pack, day bag and camera bag. Your things are ALL replaceable - despite the inconvenience. And generally speaking most people don't want the things in your bag (or mine at least - my washing really must have stink!) and are happy to watch it while you pop to the loo.  I always split my Laptop and external hard drive between my day bag and big pack for peace of mind and my camera bag never left me. I carry a handbag in normal life so why shange the habits of a lifetime on the road. In truth I have had my wallet stolen - curiously not the Jimmy Choo itself but the contents including my drivers license and some USD but not the local Thai currency. The only things I really had stolen was my laundry (I had to argue with one laundry lady about my black bra until I was red in the face, eventually she pulled it clean out of her handbag) and cash from a hotel room I stayed in for a week! (Hoi An, Vietnam never stay at the Greenfields despite the free cocktails!)............  I went by the rule of thumb. 
• Big Pack - its fair game. If you want to lug 15kg away fast! Had spare Passport pics and some USD stowed away and a spare credit card...as this is more likely to stay in your hotel room than the other two bags.
• Day Bag - a damn inconvenience 
• Camera Bag - massively inhibiting to travel (wallet, passport, drivers license, camera)
17. COMMUNITY SPIRIT - often confused as over curiosity for the foreign tourist. Its the welcoming you get when you are cast out in a completely alien environment. On your own this is amplified. People will take you under their wing. Guide you, Feed you and try to entertain you. Language, religion, creed marital status, parenthood and colour are all a curiousity. For you both. Its wonderful.
18. GRAB A RIDE - being single means you can get a lift on the back of a motorbike. Its fast and convenient in Asia. Mastering the confidence to ride pillion like the ladies here took me 6 months! THese rides usually come free and you feel like a local to boot.

What ever you do, don't let travelling solo hold you back from travelling. The only reason I was on my own for much of the time was my choice and because I was travelling off season. Travellers are the easiest people to fall in with, a brief meeting can result in a shared taxi, a shared twin room, days spent laughing and sightseeing and a lifelong friendship. 

You only have one life - enjoy the world.

Reaching Mt Everest Base Camp was a personal achievement.
Solo travel opens new doors to things YOU want to do