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Passionately confused about my passion...

The thing I have struggled with the most since I was 21 is realising I don't have a singular passion. At 21 I met a charming Californian surfer who was travelling my fair country with a guitar and in his real life he was an aerospace engineer. I was bowled over by his passion. And it set me on a constant questioning of passion which haunts me today. It seems like such a simple question but to me it baffles me. 

Tipping myself over to make sense of myself
(and having the best time ever!)
See I love an endless amount of things. And in the notion of exploring this existential crisis I am having I want to explore them....so bear with me please. 

There is my sewing machine; something I love to have for practical indulgence, its useful, creative and makes me feel a sense of mechanical connection like I used to enjoy in my teenage years at the kitchen table (or on my side projects out in the garage with hammers and nails). My love of art and all things painted, architecture, photography, fashion, historical, musical, dance, theatre - hell anything that shows expression! I love Rugby or more specifically the All Blacks which I associate with my childhood, family and a sense of incredible national pride. I love running as it gives me a sense of freedom and exhaustion as much as I do trekking/hiking/tramping (depending on your lingo!). I love Travel - and why wouldn't you when it usually includes indulging all of the aforementioned in a different culture with the challenges of negotiating a new environment (which invariably is sunnier than home!) with a foreign culture and where I am the minority. I love being environmentally friendly - I'm not a fanatic but I live by the Tidy Kiwi mantra and understand that I have a lot to give back to the world to make up for my travel footprint. I love my compost bin! I've taken to the Free Tibet Movement by boycotting Chinese made goods where I can and listening to the Dalai Lama. I only eat sustainably sourced fish stocks and avoid palm oil. I enjoy buying British (and New Zealand) goods supporting the community. I love London for its energy and where there is something free to experience I will gladly roll up from the Royal Family or cheering on the weary marathon runners once a year. I love my family (this should have been first but they will forgive me if they ever read this as it is a brain storm not a list!) and my friends each of which nourish me with their enthusiasm and positive and unique outlook on life (I've spent some time moving away from the Negative Nellys over the years and am very grateful to have a supportive and loving family). I love writing this blog as it gives me a unique way to share my thoughts with friends and family and more often than not complete strangers from far flung countries who have singled out my blog or accidentally fallen on it (thank you!, feel free to comment so I know who you are ;o)). 

I've always thought you have to have one specific passion to pin yourself to so you can crusade that passion all the way to heaven. But I guess this post reminds me that just like at school when I always tried to do everything and be a master of none that I am being most authentic to myself when I vary myself with my passions. Be it books or running, clubbing or photography, music or baking, sewing or going green; exploring my world and all it has to offer.

After all everyday is a learning day and this I can now comprehend is my passion.
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