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running to Me

I started this blog 2 years ago after competing in my second half marathon. That day was both a celebration of British sport and a commemoration of life. The race was on the famed British F1 track at Silverstone and despite my best efforts I'm fairly confident my cornering wasn't as good as Lewis Hamilton. Despite expecting smooth surfaces and a flat track, I discovered it was before the pre-season resurfacing, so plenty of gravel was kicked over the smooth surface and there was definitely inclines not the perfect flat race track I was hoping for. The day itself resonates with me as it was 9 years since my fathers passing from Cancer. It was nice to do something productive on his anniversary rather than head to the beach like I usually do to escape the world. My emotions were superseded with the tragic loss of lives in NZ during the Christchurch Earthquake just 2 weeks previously. Where Amanda, my school head girl, NZ hockey player, mother, wife and friend was killed. Honestly it left me empty and that's the thing with running, its a mental game.

As I struggled around my first ParkRun today (a free local 5km race event held 9am Saturday throughout the country and my guess the world, to get people moving) I realised that my mental fitness is not even on a par with that day.

At around the 4km mark I realised that with a half marathon a mere month away I'm not mentally up to the challenge. It also made me really wonder how many of my running friends ACTUALLY enjoy the first 3 km of any race? I find them such a bore and something tells me I'm not alone on that.

But that's the thing with a challenge, if you don't rise to meet it, you simply become defeated. And on my road to recovery my goal is not to get a PB, its not even to run the entire distance (which was the goal at Silverstone) but to get around the course. Not to bail before I even get on the train. Not to put myself down because all my friends are faster (they always have been and that's something I celebrate). Not to think about the pain. Not to be put off by my annoying innards if I'm having a bad girly day. But instead, to think that its all part of the road to recovery, a chance to enjoy some fresh air out of London, to listen to some new tunes (thanks to fairsharemusic - seriously feel good tunes when the profits from your favourite albums go to my chosen charity) and to know its ok to be Me.

And hey I paid the entry fee and I hate wasting money.



commitment is the ignitor of momentum -  Peg Wood 


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