On my Big Adventure I had one date etched in the diary when I returned to London and honestly things didn't quite work out the way I intended. My year of travel has taught me a thing or two and its not the end of the world to miss a once in a lifetime experience.
Monday 6th of August was to be New Zealand's greatest Golden Hour. The nations sweetheart (or girl next door might be more apt) Valerie Adams was to challenge for the women's Shot Put in the London 2012 Olympics. I had great hopes to see her. Either in the stadium just a few k's from home or with friends in a park somewhere. But like Val and her Silver Medal winning effort I was disappointed...not with Val she is a magnificent athlete and real role model to all people regardless if your built like a brick shit house or a heptathelete...I was disappointed because I missed the entire thing.
See The Big Adventure has been a year of memorable experiences and being home in London was my chance to get life back to normal - not least my insides which have had a bit of battering in the past few months. So on Sunday like most of the London 2012 Olympics I had met friends to celebrate and watch the greats compete in the Mens 100m final. While Usain Bolt kept his title, I was completely undone and after traipsing back across town, I took a cab home from Bank Station costing more than a 26 hour train from Hyderabad to Kolkata in a mere 10 minutes and a noticeable 6 speed bumps.
Knowing what you know about the last few months of my travel it wouldn't surprise you that 2 hours later finding me writhing around like a worm on Red Bull, Liz called an Ambulance. With my less than interesting symptoms (worm on Red Bull that should have them sirens blazing) a taxi was organised over 14 bumps in the 1.5km ride to the hospitals A&E department.
Wow what a hospital, all new and shiny from my last visit. The first nurse I met assured me I was lucky because he was a Exotic Diseasologist (see even google doesn't think that is a real word!) and with the list of countries I have been to in the last year then obviously it was Guardia. They tested my blood - it wasn't.
Over the course of the next 4 hours I saw 3 Doctors and 4 nurses. I was sent to have an x-ray where the radiographer asked if I believed in Karma - seems it was biting me back for taking a year off according to him. Then I got lost, despite being where they left me Around 10am a surgical consultant came down and hunted me out told me I don't need surgery but, well, they would have me on the surgical ward....why I have no idea. About 2 hours later that put me on a drip I was transferred to ward 13D and a perch with the best view of the Olympic Stadium from the uninterrupted views of the East from the tall towers of Royal London Hospital. With all my excitement and honestly no sleep they decided they should put me in isolation so off I went to a room with a view of other patients swaying, pacing or gazing in front of their windows.
I was left to my own devises for the next 30 hours....yeah right, 30 hours. Greys Anatomy has taught me surgeons don't really care if they can't cut and really what ever is inside me does not seem to require cutting out its just enjoying a bit of havoc while its inside me. After being shy for a day was able to give them a stool sample - sorry to be graphic but I have had the runs for 3 months off and on so it really is seen as the only thing that will tell the story to my woes. But it wasn't till more Red Bull worm impersonating and 2 nurses and a volunteer coming to visit me that 2 doctors came to my room. Still baffled by my symptoms they ordered a Ultra Sound the following morning...and told me not to drink for 8 hours prior.
Whilst I loved Danny Boyles Opening ceremony and the tribute ot the NHS I now am sceptical that he has ever dealt with the public system...he might have instead donated the entire budget to stream lining processes and providing a tv in every room to see the Olympics!
I had Liz, Holly and Harv visit and catch me up on all the Olympic action, provide me less smutty books than I was reading and be human. Just before Lizzy left a Gastro-dude waltzed in. I call him a Gastro-Dude as it otherwise the thing I call him (Gastronomer ) sounds like he is an Astronomer and and I actually think this is what people at Gastro Pubs think they are. Anyway he was very chilled and told us that 'yeah go along with the Dr's orders to have this ultrasound - for what he had no idea and they would discharge me tomorrow and he would treat me as an Out Patient'. YEAH a result with straight answers
My lovely night nurse Hannah was able to put me at ease also and I slept ok.
I was woken by a nurse asking if I wanted breakfast I screamed "I AM NIL BY MOUTH!" what a torturous thing to do. Then the Porter to take me down to the Ultra Sound was late and as he arrived a vampire came to suck some more blood, in the hall in front of the nurses station. Delightful!
The Gastro-Dude was spot on. The Ultra-Sounder talked me through her confusion and in particular my empty bladder...she needed it full to read! She did tell me I have two cysts on my ovaries but if she was to pick 5 women off the High Street aged between 20-40 two out of that five would have the same thing. After waiting 30 minutes for a porter I walked back to the 13th floor. Pissed off. Wasting peoples time is not my favourite past time but wasting tax payers money is more annoying. So I went back to the day room overlooking Hackney and far far beyond to watch some Olympic action.
I get pain in the afternoon so it wasn't long till I was tucked up in bed. When I say pain I mean I have a constant pain in my stomach but it turns into pulsing sharp pokes. Far worse than any period pain which you know cripples me and worse than a Brazilian wax so make of it what you will.
The nurse who administered my drugs told me I was being discharged and in about 2 hours that I could leave. Charlotte and Mike, just back from travelling themselves, came to collect me and after some tooing and frowing with the incompetent team in the surgical ward I was in a taxi on my way home.
This morning I went to the GP and she really is the poster child for the NHS! Friendly and helpful she was able to translate that my appointment with the Gastro-Dude would be WITHin 4 weeks not IN 4 weeks like it says on my form, and she would follow up if the date they send me is IN 4 weeks. She gave me an alternative anti-spasm drug to try and an antibiotic commonly prescribed to returning travellers which means I can't drink for a week...I couldn't be more delighted! And probably most fascinating for me - she weighed me. From 74.6kg in 2010 I am now a measely 62.4kg. Shrunk in the wash alright.
So for the next few days I am front and centre with my own couch, tv and the internet (set up for unlimited should happen tomorrow so SKYPE!) so perhaps I should start looking for that job that is meant to pay for all this.
We all know I'll be watching the Olympics!
Nurse Nellie and Nurse Byrne and all the Doctors and Nurses that read this who aren't in my family!
Hospital prescribed: Paracetemol & Buscopan
GP prescribed: Metronoidazole (7 day course) & Mebeverine
.JPG) |
| me & Hols at the Equestrian showing our colours! |
See The Big Adventure has been a year of memorable experiences and being home in London was my chance to get life back to normal - not least my insides which have had a bit of battering in the past few months. So on Sunday like most of the London 2012 Olympics I had met friends to celebrate and watch the greats compete in the Mens 100m final. While Usain Bolt kept his title, I was completely undone and after traipsing back across town, I took a cab home from Bank Station costing more than a 26 hour train from Hyderabad to Kolkata in a mere 10 minutes and a noticeable 6 speed bumps.
Knowing what you know about the last few months of my travel it wouldn't surprise you that 2 hours later finding me writhing around like a worm on Red Bull, Liz called an Ambulance. With my less than interesting symptoms (worm on Red Bull that should have them sirens blazing) a taxi was organised over 14 bumps in the 1.5km ride to the hospitals A&E department.
Wow what a hospital, all new and shiny from my last visit. The first nurse I met assured me I was lucky because he was a Exotic Diseasologist (see even google doesn't think that is a real word!) and with the list of countries I have been to in the last year then obviously it was Guardia. They tested my blood - it wasn't.
Over the course of the next 4 hours I saw 3 Doctors and 4 nurses. I was sent to have an x-ray where the radiographer asked if I believed in Karma - seems it was biting me back for taking a year off according to him. Then I got lost, despite being where they left me Around 10am a surgical consultant came down and hunted me out told me I don't need surgery but, well, they would have me on the surgical ward....why I have no idea. About 2 hours later that put me on a drip I was transferred to ward 13D and a perch with the best view of the Olympic Stadium from the uninterrupted views of the East from the tall towers of Royal London Hospital. With all my excitement and honestly no sleep they decided they should put me in isolation so off I went to a room with a view of other patients swaying, pacing or gazing in front of their windows.
I was left to my own devises for the next 30 hours....yeah right, 30 hours. Greys Anatomy has taught me surgeons don't really care if they can't cut and really what ever is inside me does not seem to require cutting out its just enjoying a bit of havoc while its inside me. After being shy for a day was able to give them a stool sample - sorry to be graphic but I have had the runs for 3 months off and on so it really is seen as the only thing that will tell the story to my woes. But it wasn't till more Red Bull worm impersonating and 2 nurses and a volunteer coming to visit me that 2 doctors came to my room. Still baffled by my symptoms they ordered a Ultra Sound the following morning...and told me not to drink for 8 hours prior.
Whilst I loved Danny Boyles Opening ceremony and the tribute ot the NHS I now am sceptical that he has ever dealt with the public system...he might have instead donated the entire budget to stream lining processes and providing a tv in every room to see the Olympics!
I had Liz, Holly and Harv visit and catch me up on all the Olympic action, provide me less smutty books than I was reading and be human. Just before Lizzy left a Gastro-dude waltzed in. I call him a Gastro-Dude as it otherwise the thing I call him (Gastronomer ) sounds like he is an Astronomer and and I actually think this is what people at Gastro Pubs think they are. Anyway he was very chilled and told us that 'yeah go along with the Dr's orders to have this ultrasound - for what he had no idea and they would discharge me tomorrow and he would treat me as an Out Patient'. YEAH a result with straight answers
My lovely night nurse Hannah was able to put me at ease also and I slept ok.
I was woken by a nurse asking if I wanted breakfast I screamed "I AM NIL BY MOUTH!" what a torturous thing to do. Then the Porter to take me down to the Ultra Sound was late and as he arrived a vampire came to suck some more blood, in the hall in front of the nurses station. Delightful!
The Gastro-Dude was spot on. The Ultra-Sounder talked me through her confusion and in particular my empty bladder...she needed it full to read! She did tell me I have two cysts on my ovaries but if she was to pick 5 women off the High Street aged between 20-40 two out of that five would have the same thing. After waiting 30 minutes for a porter I walked back to the 13th floor. Pissed off. Wasting peoples time is not my favourite past time but wasting tax payers money is more annoying. So I went back to the day room overlooking Hackney and far far beyond to watch some Olympic action.
I get pain in the afternoon so it wasn't long till I was tucked up in bed. When I say pain I mean I have a constant pain in my stomach but it turns into pulsing sharp pokes. Far worse than any period pain which you know cripples me and worse than a Brazilian wax so make of it what you will.
The nurse who administered my drugs told me I was being discharged and in about 2 hours that I could leave. Charlotte and Mike, just back from travelling themselves, came to collect me and after some tooing and frowing with the incompetent team in the surgical ward I was in a taxi on my way home.
This morning I went to the GP and she really is the poster child for the NHS! Friendly and helpful she was able to translate that my appointment with the Gastro-Dude would be WITHin 4 weeks not IN 4 weeks like it says on my form, and she would follow up if the date they send me is IN 4 weeks. She gave me an alternative anti-spasm drug to try and an antibiotic commonly prescribed to returning travellers which means I can't drink for a week...I couldn't be more delighted! And probably most fascinating for me - she weighed me. From 74.6kg in 2010 I am now a measely 62.4kg. Shrunk in the wash alright.
So for the next few days I am front and centre with my own couch, tv and the internet (set up for unlimited should happen tomorrow so SKYPE!) so perhaps I should start looking for that job that is meant to pay for all this.
We all know I'll be watching the Olympics!
Nurse Nellie and Nurse Byrne and all the Doctors and Nurses that read this who aren't in my family!
Hospital prescribed: Paracetemol & Buscopan
GP prescribed: Metronoidazole (7 day course) & Mebeverine
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